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Show Empathy. Connect and Be LOVED in the Media.

Show Empathy. Connect and Be LOVED in the Media.

June 4, 2014

Here’s the deal. You need to seriously listen up. If you want to be a STAR in the media, build your personal brand and be the next Oprah, you have to show EMPATHY.

WHY?!? Because people love YOU when they know you care. We all have this universal belief that if you care, you will do the BEST job for me. You will go to the greatest lengths to help me, change me, serve me —and yes, even love me.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Jani Moon, I show empathy. I share. I feel people’s pain. Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! I am connected and feel the struggle of others. Ummmmm. . .

No. No. No. Most of ya, nadda. No.

You think you are empathic. You think you are showing real empathy but you are not. But not to fret! I’m here to help and show you how.

Simply.

Listen. Read. Feel. Think and Follow. Here we go!

How to show empathy:

1. Acknowledge his/her feelings. Say out loud what he or she must be feeling. For example, say “You must be so overwhelmed,” or “It must be so scary.” Easy-peasy.

2. Share a common experience. Let him/her know that you have been there. You know
what he/she is going through. If someone just told you that she is getting a divorce because her man cheated on her, you can say, “Girl, I understand, I’ve been there. My ex cheated on me. It was so, so, so painful.”

Done. People like shared experiences. It makes us feel less bad about ourselves and less alone.

3. Ask heartfelt personal questions. Let him/her know that you are interested, that
you care.

Ask questions like:
-How are you doing?
-Can I help?
-When did it happen?
-Do you have any support?
-What do you need?

4. ***Feel what he or she is feeling. This is the most important one.

True empathy is being able to communicate with your “feeling” body. This means that you feel what he/she is feeling. You open up your heart and feel the feelings that he/she is going through.

Now, what if you don’t feel anything?!? What if I don’t feel any empathy! Eek!!! “Oh no! I am a heart-less son-of a bitch?”

Nah.

It happens. It happens to all of us at times. Why? Because we are emotionally shutdown. We are distracted by our own problems. We are judging the person. We don’t want to feel his/her pain because it reminds us of our pain. The list goes on and on . . .

More importantly, how do you get past feeling nothing to something?

How to feel empathy when you don’t:

You fake it till you make it because eventually, you will.

1. Use physical cues. Put your hand on your heart. Put your hand on his/her hand. Tilt your head. Sigh. Feel the heaviness in your body. When you work with your external body, it can trick you into feeling what you truly want to feel but aren’t letting yourself feel.

2. Say affirmations in your head. As most of us know, (and if you don’t, you seriously need to catch up) our thoughts affect how we feel and act.

Let me say that again. Our thoughts affect how we feel and act. So, if you say things in your head like, “I can’t believe this happened to her/him. She/he must be going through so much. She/he must be feeling so much loss,” you actually can start to FEEL something.

3. Say certain key empathy trigger phrases out-loud.
This is just like saying the affirmations but you are saying them to the person who needs your empathy.

Say phrases like, “I’m so sorry. My heart goes out to you. I can’t imagine what you are going through.” Again, the words trick your body into feeling something.

4. Slow the f*%k down. Breathe. Feel your body, your hands, your toes. Empathy is about feelings. Thinking about it is not going to help. Let your body feel and help you. Let go of the chatter of the mind and drop into the nothingness of your body. See what you feel. You might be surprised.

Lastly, it’s all about intention. If you truly want to feel something, you will. Just ask yourself to feel, to be present and empathic. Show empathy. And I promise people will love you because they will know that you care. Be a star in your life and in the media. Upgrade your brand. #Connect.

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Call Jani (917) 509-8016 info@janimoon.com New York, New York